DAY 158

I’ve not updated in a while! There’s been a lot of things but nothing overly interesting to share. I have been experiencing dating app cravings. Mostly because I convinced my friend to get Hinge and I helped her to make her profile. It was actually a lot of fun and I told her which of her pictures to put on, and what to say in her answers. We are looking at totally different age brackets of men, so it’s interesting to see what types of guys she has available.

A guy I went on a few dates with last September has recently gotten back together with an ex, who he’d claimed apparently was regretting their break up and desperate for him back. This is what he said 4 months ago, and now is clearly together with her again. I weirdly felt jealous, even though I wasn’t overly interested in him back then, because well, the sex was… not great. But beyond the sex, he was really cool, smart, woke, funny, and his body was ripped. A rare breed. But it makes sense that a girl who had dumped him would go out into the world and realize that he is a rare breed and she screwed up. I am happy for him, but again, slightly jealous. But not that much. I feel like when that sort of thing happens, I should unfollow the guy, unfriend, and move on. I wasn’t really keeping him on the back burner, but I might have seen if there was another shot with him when this whole challenge is over. I think it’s better to just move along though. Steps forward, not back.

I received an instagram DM from a very strange guy in a local band. I don’t know how he had found me, but he found me more than once, several months apart. He is actually incredibly cute, but also… fucking weird. His band music was crass, horny, and a bit yelly. Something I might have liked in 11th grade, when I was going through my screamy boy band phase. I did NOT like his music though. Kinda silly, and trashy. But I could see how it could be perceived as more of a mock style of music than something you might take seriously. I would never go out of my way to add his music to a spotify playlist though. But since he was cute, I allowed the conversation to continue. But sooner or later, I started to feel like this is a guy who messaged a lot of girls, and likely probably to take advantage of the platform to find followers. I think he’s reaching for the wrong age range. I tried to ask him what he does outside of his band and he immediately shut down and tried to be funny instead of real. He said “I’m batman.” I sent an eye roll emoji and eventually blocked him. I get it, you’re trying to be cute. But you have the sense of humour of a 13 year virgin. I can’t. I just... cannot.

One of my favourite podcasts, V. Single, warns against men in bands. It usually means they’re not very trustworthy, selfish, and immature. And I felt that. I do think there are exceptions, but as a general rule, boy band dudes are more interested in their music than they are in you. And that’s fine, but a good boyfriend, it does not make. From all the guys in bands I know, I sense that slight superiority complex. I would obviously be interested in a really detached sexual relationship with one, certainly. Maaybe. I went on a date with a singer/songwriter last year and it was very clear he wasn’t ready for a relationship, and he didn’t want to see me after the second date, which is cool. And maybe that was his way of saying it’s not a match. Fine. But I could imagine it being a little too difficult to maintain anything with him, regardless of how into you he is.

Again, NOT looking to date right now. Just making some observations. Anyway. That’s all I got right now.