FAQ

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This FAQ actually stands for Fanny's Anticipated Questions because let's face it, no one has asked me about any of this, I'm just an anxious person who likes to be prepared, just in case.
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Q: What if someone really amazing comes into your life? Are you just going to reject them?

A: Okay, come on, I think the odds of that happening are just completely inconceivable but let's just pretend like that's a thing that could happen for me. I would have to consider where I'm at in this whole thing. Have I achieved the goals I wanted to achieve by that time? Would going out with this human be a hindrance to attaining said goals if I haven't? Is this person willing to wait until I've completed the challenge and if not, is he really worth it? So it really just depends. But seeing as I'm a competitor and this is a challenge, I really do want to CRUSH this thing.

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‍Q: Why do you have to tell people about it? Why not just do it and be quiet about it? NO ONE CARES!

A: So this question comes from the nasty part of my mind that is trying to discourage me. She sounds like a 13 year old YouTube commenter. She’s a BITCH.

If someone else had done this and blogged about it, I would consume that media like a 7/11 cheese smokie, drenched in goopy fake cheese, ketchup, pickles and sauerkraut. I made that sound disgusting but it was my dinner for 4 days a week in 2014... By choice.

So even if just one person enjoys and reads this blog, that’s all that matters to me. And that person might only be me, in the future. That's fine.

Also, don’t be so rude. Maybe lighten up a bit.
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Q: How is not going on any dates that different from your everyday life? It’s not like you go out with someone every day...

A: I don’t think anyone is aware of how many dates I go on in a year… First dates, I go on around 15-20 different first dates, some second dates, and fewer third dates. THEN, If you count each individual 3-7 minute speed date at all 5 speed dating events I did in 2018, I’ve gone on well over 100 dates this year alone. So it’s a lot. One speed dating company invited me back for a THIRD time. And I signed up for another one that involves meeting up to 50 dudes... So like, I think I might actually have a problem, you guys.

Then there’s all the time I spend trying to find another date. One of my favourite passtimes with friends is swiping. One of my best friends and I have albums dedicated to all the worst conversations we’ve had, the worst dating profile bios, the weirdest photoshoots... I’m going to miss that part because it was a way we could bond in our misery. But it helps that she is also on hiatus. Not a year hiatus like me, but just a break.

And it’s true, it’s not like I go out on a date everyday, but the day to day changes are going to be more introspective. It’s a change of mindset, and by not focussing on the biological need to find a partner and procreate, I can work on all these fun side projects I have planned but keep procrastinating. I also don’t even want kids, but sometimes this insane thing called baby fever gets #triggered by some unknown force and makes me think I might actually fucking enjoy that shit. I would be such a bad mom. I would never want to inflict ME as a MOM on anyone. But then sometimes I think no... I would make a fuck great mother, God damn it! I cannot come to a consensus on that...

I want to be able to do things like… go to the grocery store without make up. Some people can actually do that. I can’t. Because there’s ALWAYS hot men at the grocery store, it’s like a hub. But I’m ready to give up the idea that the guy buying the same no name brand of soda crackers as me is my future husband.
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Q: How is that any different from just letting yourself go?

A: I guess it’s not, but here’s the thing… Think about the terminology of letting yourself go. I choose to think of it as setting yourself free from confinements. It’s like “this is who I really am” and “who I’ve been before was a façade.” So maybe EVERYONE should let themselves go. Be yourself without fear! You know.. Unless inner self is immoral and demonic, maybe get some therapy... But just more like the stuff that you can’t hide from someone you’re going to share a mortgage, bank account and toilet with. Let that go.

A divorced friend once told me that when they got married to their wife, the both of them changed almost instantly. They stopped being the person they thought their partner wanted, because, well, they’re MARRIED now, they’re stuck with each other. And it was clear that neither of them had married someone they actually knew, and they weren’t as compatible as they had originally thought.

I think that, ultimately, it doesn’t matter if what I do is attractive to men or not. It’s just who I am. And if I can learn to become comfortable with who I am, the need to find someone to accept me will be less important to me, and then maybe, MAYBE someone will come along who happens to like it. Maybe not. I could be a spinster.

And honestly, all I really want is to live like the Golden Girls with my best friends. That’s the REAL dream, honestly.

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